Tag Archives: personal

The Scream 1 (Excerpt From South West 1)

I am cursed. I am not sure of much for now but of this one fact; I am cursed. And by the time you finished reading my story, you would believe me.

This was my first thought when I came to, I was not sure of that too. All I knew at first was the sun was bright, and fierce, intending to scorch. It was searing, everything was hot my body was ready to combust. However, I was cold too, somewhere within I could feel a weird chill clutching my heart.

The noise was too much, too loud; so many people speaking, screaming in one voice but different tongues. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t move anything, save my right hand. Some parts of me were missing, numb or malfunctioned. The first on my list was my waist downward. I couldn’t feel it.

Later, I was with my sisters; we were sitting outside, chatting and laughing. I do not understand what we were laughing about. Then I was in our backyard arguing with my brother. He became upset walked in and banged the door after him. I hissed and stormed into the kitchen.

The kitchen transported me back to the street, I looked up and saw Taiwo. He was my childhood friend, I hadn’t seen him in six years. The last time I saw him I hadn’t seen him in ten years. The Six years ago was in Ife at Adventist School of Nursing. I was standing at the gate and then I saw him, but I only waved at him because I couldn’t stop to talk to him.

I was heartbroken. I felt dumped all over again by the guy who disappeared with my heart three years before. He called me that day to tell me why he broke up with me. I had spent those years thinking it was all my fault. I should be relieved that it was not my fault after all but I wasn’t. My heart was being smashed all over again.

That was the last time I saw Taiwo until that day on the street where I wanted to buy Daniel Defoe “Robinson Crusoe”. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries. Then I was back home with my younger sister. She wanted to come with me to the campus to print her project work. It would be cheaper there. And then everything was bright again, and hot.

Then I had a bizarre thought; something had sliced me into two. Everything froze at that moment. I felt something warm trickling out of somewhere between my thighs; it was oozing in a strange beat, the same with my heart as if it was being pumped by my heart beat. A nightmare was my next thought, I needed to wake up, but I couldn’t move, every breath was like the last. Something terrible is wrong with me; I had no idea what. I wanted to cry but I had no tears, I was as dry as clay soil in the harmattan.

Maybe I died and landed in hell that would explain the noise and the absence of anybody to help or tell me where I was. Nobody came, there were so many people, voices everywhere but no one to help. I felt so tired, thirsty and feeble.

“I’m going to die or I’m dead already, and in hell. But why is my mouth filled with sand and stones?” I felt like I was hit or pinned by something. A strong cold hand gripped my throat and clutched my heart; it was fear. The night was beckoning fast though the sun was still shining so bright and fiercely hot; I was not ready for its embrace.

 

 

 

 

The Scream is an excerpt from “South West 1 – A True Tale of Loss, Family, Fate, and Faith. “I would appreciate your honest comment. Thank you.

 

God Is Not Mad At Me

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Never ask for much from Him
Just to fill my life with love and calm
Same I asked on this fateful day
That left a huge bump on my way

One moment was walking with my friends
Then the next was flat on my rear
The sun glaring down in all his might
Daylight burning with so much hate

Not one of my limbs I could stir
Just drifting in and out of here
As if undetermined to stay or depart
I knew then my life had taken a new twist

Once I caught a glimpse of my loves
The mask on their faces of fear and tears
This breaks my heart so but not a tear
My whole body been rid of all care

A terrible nightmare was my first thought
Or dead and beyond the blue for reward
Hoping I’d wake and have a good laugh
And return to my simple but stunning life

A great miracle I pulled through they said
Like all miracles mine was not exempted
I paid with endless pain and my freedom
My proof of womanhood torn to shred

Must have erred God was my waking notion
To be so wrath to act without compassion
Life behind bars and endless grief His verdict
Else He would shield me from this raging tempest

But then that He still loves me revived my soul
That He really cares made me whole
Could have been six feet beneath the earth
Then I know His plans surpass my thought

With abundant love He enriched my home
The strength and courage to stand the storm
The grace to look beyond this troubled race
And the faith to trust in His guidance

For my family.
After a life changing auto mobile accident, I was sure God was mad at me, punishing me for something I had done. After I recovered, I was really mad at Him for not preventing the accident. Then I realized He saved me, cos He loves me. It could be worst. He is not mad at me.