Tag Archives: courage

Have You Ever (3)

Have you battled with dream and reality
when both are one and the same?
Have you had to grasp
what you thought was a fragment
of reality
only it was just a dream?

Have you struggled to accept
the savages left
by the storm of life
while drowning in the thoughts
of the used-to-be
the peripheral visions
of what ifs, could-bes and if evers?

If you haven’t,
You are yet to live
If you have,
As long as there is one more sunrise
And one sunset left for you
Nothing is impossible
Hold on

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An Amputee’s Prayer (2)

I have prayed for so many things. I have cried for a lot of things as well but not for my leg to grow back. That sound like a scene from a sci-fi movie.

I had imagined it though. I imagined what it would be like. Then I think, I wouldn’t really want it. All I had been through would be like a dream, like they never happened. But I prayed that my pelvis would join like the dry bones in Ezekiel.

I did pray for the strength, courage and the will to live this life. You need a lot of those as an amputee.

I asked to be able to bear the pain, to be stronger than it, and to smile through it.

I asked to never be hungry or lack anything good. That the Lord would bless me with all I need to sustain my new life. That I would never have any reason to cry again.

I asked Him to take care of my family, my love ones, that I wouldn’t have any reason to run because of them, as He knows that I can’t run. That whenever they need me but I can’t be there, He stands in my place.

I told Him, since He has taken my leg, He would have to be my legs and go all the places I wouldn’t be able to go. He would walk it for me and with me.

Sometimes, when I wonder how I’m able to bear it. I remember I had asked Him to give me the grace to.
A man once asked me after staring at me for a very uncomfortable several minutes.

“How do you endure it? I really can’t imagine, how you cope, with your daily activities, work, everything?”

I said, “You find new ways of doing old things. It seems uncomfortable or strange at first, and then it becomes you.”

“But what about the ones you can’t do, what about in the future?”

“I take it one day at a time. I leave the next day and the next step to Him. He handles them. He takes care of me today and prepares me for tomorrow. Whatever tomorrow brings, He is there to guide and walk me through it.

My Birthday

To me, this day is more than a birthday, that’s too ordinary. But what could make a birthday more than an anniversary of the day in which a person is born?
A Rebirth?
A second chance at life?
I got both, because if the devil had his wish I would exit here the same day I entered it. And I would be labeled so many evil things and more. But the Lord in His infinite mercy gave me life, again.
A birthday used to be just the celebration of my birth. When I ended one year and started another. After my twentieth anniversary it became, “what’s the big deal? Everybody has them. Someone has one every day.”
And now, there are so many thoughts and feelings attached to this day: happiness, apprehension, panics, blessing, anxiety, and gratitude, their incessant and persistent attacks can be so overwhelming and frustrating – A time bomb waiting to explode.
Over the years, I’ve learnt to accept them, feel them all, sort out the real from the imagined, and forge the strength to beat the delusion.
Today, I woke up again with the dread of facing the long day, my birthday. Because I had a doctor’s appointment, today of all days. Memories of my birthday not too long ago in surgery and ICU flooded my mind like rushing water. I was going to see the doctor who hacked off my limb on my birthday. I wanted to hide in bed all day. But then, I armed myself with the remembrance of all I had to be grateful for. The little things like sneezing without pain, stretching without whimpering and turning without grimacing. I’m grateful for the blessings of the people in my life who never let me feel bad about my life for a second. When I think He seems too far away or uncaring, I see Him in them. These little things make me realize just how blessed I am, and how much good I have in my life. They outweigh the bad.
Today, I realise that good or bad, there are benefits to everything; one simply needs to find them.
And that, birthdays are more than celebrating the inevitable passage of time.

The Lonely Path, poem by Olufunke Kolapo (ME, IN FICTION Poetry and Prose Series)

Silver Birch Press

kolapo.jpgrobinsonThe Lonely Path
by Olufunke Kolapo

Still on this indented seat
Weary watery eyes from this ancient sight
Mine mind craving an escape took a flight
I, the unwilling partner tagged along
We walked hand in hand among
Brushes of treasured moments turned memories

We heard the eerie crunches of bits of our dreams
We gulped the bittersweet taste of our mistakes
We drank the stale milk of our guilts
The sickening stench of stillbirth dreams
Hung in the air ferrying thunderous voices
Of the wrong choices
And slipped chances
We heard the heartrending sob of lost loves
The never-ending groan of their broken hearts
We inhaled the wistful fragrance of their sad love songs
We saw under the sulking moon the ugly scars on our palms souvenirs from holding too tight
And the ragged residue from letting go
Not for lack of valour
But for loss of vigour
Now…

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Dare To

If I’m honest with myself
I’ll sing of my secret cravings
The art of self discovery
When no mortal is near

If I’m brace enough
I’ll on this chaste paper
Pen my deepest passion
The art of self pleasure

I’ll sing of how long ago
We started on this road
How much I will a halt
Yet found my fingers roving

Just Like A Stone


beaten and battered
unbroken and unbent
tossed here and there
I remain
strong and sturdy as the stone

wet with the dew of heaven
dried in the sun
I dined with the grass of the earth
I defied the wind and waves
of the world
not a grain
can be wrung from me

The Script

I am acting the part
As stated in life’s script
I’m acting my part
Smiling and keeping on
So the others
Can act their parts
Of lingering not and moving on

I drop my part
And shelf the mask
When I’m alone
I drop my part
And hang the armour
When the honest me
Takes over the weary me

Then, I drop the act
And hopefully pray
That I don’t loose myself
In between the parts