Tag Archives: blogging

What If…?

What if I didn’t go out that day?
What if I had missed that day’s lectures?
What if I had ran faster?
What if I didn’t lose my leg?
I have never been able to construct any acceptable scenarios for my what ifs.
Today, I couldn’t stop myself from wandering through their endless maze.
Where would I be if that day never was?
Who would I be?
I can’t say precisely, but one thing is clear; my scars made me who I am today.
If I hadn’t them, I would be ordinary; just plain old me.

The Scream – 2

 

“I’m not going to die here,” I said to myself, “not yet, not on the street like a dog. I’ll see my family and say goodbye to them. I’ll find out what happened to me.” I said to the bright sun and the looming night. I have no idea why I had the thought that I was not yet dead, but it gave me hope, enough to have a little strength. A dark shape appeared above and blocked what little light I had left to see, and then it spoke.

“Pele Aunty, sorry, what is your name?”

“Funke” please, help me. I raised my right hand and he touched it.

“Calm down, I’ll help you. Your phone is dead. This is it” I couldn’t see anything. Do you know any number I can contact? I nodded.

“Okay”. I gave him my brother’s number. My dad was my first thought, but I could picture him falling apart. He would first rush to the toilet and back. Then he would go again, maybe three times before making up his mind on what to do.

“The number is not available. I tried it twice. Do you know another one?”

My tongue was getting heavier and getting hard to swallow. My throat was shutting down the passage to my voice box. I recited my dad’s number. “Couldn’t he just get me out of here first before calling a family meeting? His voice broke into my thought. “Hello, omo yin Funke, your daughter had been hit by a vehicle at Ojoo. Can you hear me? Hello, he cut the line. I can’t reconnect with him.”

“I’ll give you another one, my mother’s.” And I did.

 “Hello, your daughter has been hit by a vehicle. Yes, she was in an accident. We are taking her to UCH now, join us there. Hello, hello, she is not responding. The line is on but she is not talking.”

“My sisters, I know my sisters’ lines too.” He called them both but they all disconnected at the mention of UCH.

“Do you know another one? Funke, answer!

“Yes, yes— 0805—5—” it was becoming awfully difficult to speak, to think. I couldn’t remember. The number was in there somewhere, my brother-in-law’s but I couldn’t remember. Everything was dark and hot like my head. It was too dark to see anything. I couldn’t see the rest of the number. My mind was being wrapped in a thick blanket.

“Hello”, his voice hauled me back again, from the deep dark hole. “Somebody has called back, I think it’s your father. “—ehn, meet us at UCH, your daughter had been hit by a vehicle. Yes, we are going there now.”

“I told you to calm down, I have contacted your father, he would join us at the hospital. I’m going to get a taxi now. My own broke down, but my friend is near. I’ll just call him. I’ll be back.”

I wanted to tell him not to leave me but I couldn’t see anything. So, I closed my eyes maybe the dream would fade and when I opened them I’ll be home in my bed.  My waist kept burning, and the warm thing kept trickling.

I remember the man’s voice. Was I hit? But how? Where was I coming from? And where am I? Why can’t I remember? Did he say Ojoo? Okay I was going to school, to UI for a lecture walking with my friends? My friends, where are they? Were they hit too? I have to ask him.

When did I leave home? Home, my head was too cloudy. No feedback was coming from the main database. The warm fluid wouldn’t stop trickling between my legs. My legs! Why can’t I move or feel my left leg? Then another realisation set in, the heat was coming from my leg. It was in my left leg. Now, I wanted the dream to stop. The chill was overpowering me. I was becoming the chill. But I have to be strong, I just knew it. It was all I had to do, all I could do even as the bright light was being swallowed by darkness just like I’m being swallowed by the chill.

The Scream 1 (Excerpt From South West 1)

I am cursed. I am not sure of much for now but of this one fact; I am cursed. And by the time you finished reading my story, you would believe me.

This was my first thought when I came to, I was not sure of that too. All I knew at first was the sun was bright, and fierce, intending to scorch. It was searing, everything was hot my body was ready to combust. However, I was cold too, somewhere within I could feel a weird chill clutching my heart.

The noise was too much, too loud; so many people speaking, screaming in one voice but different tongues. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t move anything, save my right hand. Some parts of me were missing, numb or malfunctioned. The first on my list was my waist downward. I couldn’t feel it.

Later, I was with my sisters; we were sitting outside, chatting and laughing. I do not understand what we were laughing about. Then I was in our backyard arguing with my brother. He became upset walked in and banged the door after him. I hissed and stormed into the kitchen.

The kitchen transported me back to the street, I looked up and saw Taiwo. He was my childhood friend, I hadn’t seen him in six years. The last time I saw him I hadn’t seen him in ten years. The Six years ago was in Ife at Adventist School of Nursing. I was standing at the gate and then I saw him, but I only waved at him because I couldn’t stop to talk to him.

I was heartbroken. I felt dumped all over again by the guy who disappeared with my heart three years before. He called me that day to tell me why he broke up with me. I had spent those years thinking it was all my fault. I should be relieved that it was not my fault after all but I wasn’t. My heart was being smashed all over again.

That was the last time I saw Taiwo until that day on the street where I wanted to buy Daniel Defoe “Robinson Crusoe”. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries. Then I was back home with my younger sister. She wanted to come with me to the campus to print her project work. It would be cheaper there. And then everything was bright again, and hot.

Then I had a bizarre thought; something had sliced me into two. Everything froze at that moment. I felt something warm trickling out of somewhere between my thighs; it was oozing in a strange beat, the same with my heart as if it was being pumped by my heart beat. A nightmare was my next thought, I needed to wake up, but I couldn’t move, every breath was like the last. Something terrible is wrong with me; I had no idea what. I wanted to cry but I had no tears, I was as dry as clay soil in the harmattan.

Maybe I died and landed in hell that would explain the noise and the absence of anybody to help or tell me where I was. Nobody came, there were so many people, voices everywhere but no one to help. I felt so tired, thirsty and feeble.

“I’m going to die or I’m dead already, and in hell. But why is my mouth filled with sand and stones?” I felt like I was hit or pinned by something. A strong cold hand gripped my throat and clutched my heart; it was fear. The night was beckoning fast though the sun was still shining so bright and fiercely hot; I was not ready for its embrace.

 

 

 

 

The Scream is an excerpt from “South West 1 – A True Tale of Loss, Family, Fate, and Faith. “I would appreciate your honest comment. Thank you.

 

When Love Is Not Love

Will love still be love
When all deem it wrong
When the people in love
Are not supposed to be?

Will love still be love
When no one thinks it’s decent
Safe the people in love
And all they have to prove is their love?

Is love still love
When the head says to the heart
“This feeling is so wrong ”
And the heart whispered back,
“But it feels so right”?

Undefined

I should have known
We do not share love
We share something deeper
Deeper than love, passion
Or understanding
We share a bond not of everyday
Or tomorrow
A bond that will outlive us
A bond beyond time and age
It’s always there between us
Drawing us closer
Never together
We share it
We never can have it

Beyond the Blue

As I gaze at the sky
On this bright moon night
I think of a home of bright light
Beyond the starry sky

Where darkness has no place
Where sadness cannot reside
My soul craves its warm embrace
The home of bliss for the blessed

A Gift in the Dark

My first novel, “A Gift in the Dark” is now live and available for purchase on amazon.com and Kindle Store.
Buy and write a Review on my book at:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gift-Dark-Olufunke-Kolapo/dp/1520196636/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

&

amazon.com/author/olufunkekolapo

“A Gift in the Dark” is the tale of the lives and love of some teens in high school in Nigeria, who are from well-to-do-homes. They are sent to boarding school for their education and purportedly for their protection.

Rita is the female star student of Diamond International High school. She crawled out of her shell and books to join the elite students group in her school. She becomes their leader through her charm and generosity and would do anything to make it permanent.

She is an obedient and well behaved girl. But when she learns the truth about her friends, especially her teachers, her principles and beliefs falter. Her teachers are not what they appear to be or what they should be.

She realises that no one really cares if you are good or not as long as you are not caught in the bad act. In her desire to be liked and accepted by all she forgets her upbringing. She finally allows her friend to completely lure her into their world. Her decision leaves her in a dangerous path. And in order to protect her love from his father’s wrath and not to implicate him further she keeps her secret to herself and destroys herself in the process.

Richard is the dark, brooding son of one of the most powerful lawyer in the country. He is the male star student of his school, intelligent and easy going. He loves his family and adores his mother. He constantly wishes that she would really be a mother to him and protects him from his father.

He respects his father and gives him all that he expects from him, while he provides all their needs. But he wants more than his wealth and name. Now, he is ready to be more than ordinary brilliant in order to get his attention. He wants to give him something that would dazzle him.

Rita and Richard sneak out of school with their friends one night to attend a party. But Rita’s one night adventure is cut short when she meets a stranger who gives her a gift she couldn’t reject or tell anyone about until it’s too late for her, and her loved ones. A stranger whose face she can’t recollect. Her life and her parent’s marriage is about to be shattered because of her secret. She has to do one more thing to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart.

Will she be able to fix her mistake and her parent’s marriage?
Get a copy of ” A Gift in the Dark” and find out more.